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State of an NRI…..
I am an NRI. A Non-Resident Indian. No, I was not born in India, I did not grow up in India and I have certainly not spent more than One year in all of my life (in parts spread out over 23 years) in India. In fact I have spent my entire life in Singapore. Expats would probably question my Indian-ness and local Indians will probably go “Boy! Is he confused or what!”.
Well friends I do not blame either group because they all come from their own standpoints and after growing up as an NRI (and yes I still insist I am one) I have come to accept such reactions.
This article is not to debate the issue of what an NRI is. This article is being written to highlight the life and state of an NRI – an Indian, a person of Indian ancestry and origin, outside of India.
I watched the movie ‘Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal!” two weekends ago and this article is largely a product of my experience with that movie. Boy I could relate to it and questions raised during that movie. Do not get me wrong, I have never been a victim of direct racism. I do after all live in Singapore where every individual lives in complete harmony and equality irregardless of race, language or religion. You will never find the majority pinching their noses around minorities, employment discriminations or linguistic bias on this island. It’s a level playing field for all. This article is however written in a general context.
When an Indian moves out of his country, should he leave behind his language, his identity, the love for this culture, his values, his heritage and all else that gives him the identity of belonging and originating from that motherland of his and adopt the identity of his new homeland? Or should he bring his identity along with him and live by it and uphold it so that one day he can impart it into his future generations and keep it alive even in their adopted lands?
There are two groups of NRIs who each adopt both very different approaches. Does one group do better than the other? You decide.
Being an NRI is more about simply living. It is about surviving. It is about fighting. It is about struggling. It is about making sacrifices and compromises.
An NRI has to first create his own identity in a society in which he is most likely to be a minority. I personally do not know of any country outside of India where Indians are a majority and I think it will be eons before we see that day.
He has to than struggle to get over the language barriers. How many parents prefer to have their children learn local languages rather than their own mother tongues so that they will not have difficulties blending in?
Than there is an issue of dressing the way which will be acceptable to everyone. How many women in their 20s and 30s would still be comfortable attending a ball wearing a Sari? Yes babe go on laugh your head off. Majority of your friends would too. I was at Navratri a couple of months back and I saw skirts, flimsy tops, kurtis with jeans, saris with bikini blouses, shirts and pants and whatever traditional outfit that was being worn had either got excessive cuts around the overflowing curves or seemed to have run out of dress materials at all the right places. That was Navratri… any questions what you would see at a bhangra night or ball? That’s right guys start imagining.
Than there is the issue of behaving like the majority in the local society. Whenever I see an elder deserving of my respect (and I emphasis DESERVING), I still touch their feet to seek their blessings. Many of my peers sneer and think me weird. Oh yea buddy, I know you call me weird. I do not blame them. This guys are too busy hugging and giving pecks on each other’s cheeks and shaking hands to put their hands together for a simple but humbling “Namaste”.
By the way would it be surprising if a second generation youth in Singapore can hardly speak a word of his mother tongue? Needs tuitions to learn how to speak it because his parents are equally bad at it? How about when you start having Harry and Sat and Mike and Johnny and what not around you at Indian functions and guees what?! They are Indians but will pierce you violently with their raging eyes should you call out to them by their actual names of Harish or Satvinder or Mitesh.
What about this? God I love this one… Dude, do not call me Indian, I am a Sikh. I am Punjabi. I am a North Indian. I am a South Indian. Huh? You are Indian? How come you do not speak tamil? I am a Hindustani (I was guilty of referring to a group of people as this once till I was totally laughed at by my bhaiya). YO PEOPLE WAKE UP!!! YOU ARE ALL INDIANS!!!!! Confused souls? Can you blame them? This people know nuts about what being an Indian is all about.
Holi is for getting a good opportunity to get your hands all over a girl in the name of coloring her or lifting her and dumping her into a tub full of coloured water or being a little filmy and going up to the girl you admire with a pinch of red powder and putting it right onto her forehead as a sign of proposing to her. What’s the significance behind holi? Don’t Know. Don’t Care.
Navratri… Great time dance, good music, again another perfect chance for boy to meet girl and girl to meet boy, exchange numbers, get into fights at the entrance of the venue, and well folk dance to the latest bollywood music… Well I am sure Shree Krishna had loads of that when he was playing his Bansi. Again, can anyone relate how we can about celebrating this Nine Nights of festivities?
Diwali? Haha… this is a good one. Time for Bollywood Theme Events! Come dressed as your favourite bollywood star and win loads of prices. And yes get totally drunk and wasted too and than head down to the nearest clubbing joint. Uncles Included. Go to a 5 year old and ask him… son, what is Diwali about… Do not be stupid uncle it is about sparklers, getting dressed in latest outfits, and seeing daddy get so drunk I get confused who my mummy is. Over exaggeration maybe but I am sure you get what I mean. He does not have a clue of what Diwali is!
What can you expect guys! Societies, representative organizations, welfare groups, temple committees are formed to unite this NRI communities. The world over there are Gujarati Societies, Sikh Welfare Groups, Bhojpuri Samaj etc. They were probably started initially in the early migration days as bodies to bring together a community to uphold the identity, lifestyle, values, cultures and traditions of the community and ensure the survival of its identities through education its future generations by means of events, educational programs, youth groups, outings and more.
I still remember days when any function of my community would be without alcohol and non-vegetarian food. I still remember the days when if somebody got drunk he was the gossip of the entire community and looked upon negatively. I still remember when I was growing up, events and festivals featured primarily highlights such as Best Dressed Bal Krishna, Bhajans and Prayer recitals by children, Folk dances by adults and children. Events were an experience from which we can walk out with a better understanding of the festival the event was being organised to celebrate.
Today, events are a form of partying, entertainment and with the sole purpose to bring the roof of the joint down and get some money into the pockets of the organizing bodies. Hell tickets can go up to $70 for a dinner for celebrating a festival! And it’s alright and money well spent if children come out understanding why is Diwali called the festival of lights or why is Diwali even called Diwali. Not a very religious event when alcohol is served there anyways. Any wonder why holding festivities in temples are no long sufficient and people got to book clubs and hotels for these purposes?
In the midst of all these, some would argue… move on dude, even India is changing. Of course it is. I personally know a couple of Indian passport holders who would put any of us born and brought up abroad to shame. They know many more vulgarities, they fantasize about their wives wearing translucent saris going around the house seducing them all day, they crave for alcohol and drugs like fishes for food, girls are more masculine than most guys around them and what not.
Lets face it. Movies and Media have a major influence of how people perceive their own lifestyles and desire changes to become what they are made to idolize. Most of our current actors, actresses, directors and producers have had large western influence. No I am not anti-west. They have some great stuff down there which we should adopt and learn. However not at the compromise about some of our very basic customs and traditions and cultures. What we do outside of India as NRIs, turns into a movie and people back home start to seek similar lives without understanding fully the consequences that come with that. It only hits them when their 16 year old daughter wears a mini-skirt and skimpy top and heads out for a late night movie with a guy 8-9 years her senior and comes home one night only to tell her parents that she is pregnant or wants to move in with her boyfriend. It may only hit them when a 21 year old son tells his father that “Dad, you did for me what you did because it was your duty and now I owe you nothing… you can F*** off”.
Well people… This is what I feel the state of an NRI is… a very desperate state where it needs to find a lifeline to hang on to or very soon… there will be nobody outside of India calling himself an Indian or fit to be called one at least. I challenge you reader! Write in… what is the definition of an Indian! Oh yea.. and for those who found this article too painful to swallow or a piece of crap? Well thanks for reading anyways… |